Government name: Seraphina Jane Nicholas.  More commonly known as: Sarahthefirst or Notorious S.J.N.  Sarahthefirst’s journey began within the walls of Western Baptist Hospital.  The delivery room is now considered a landmark and weekly tours are scheduled at your local Parks Department.  Unlike Mulan, Sarah wasn’t the least bit concerned with the family legacy nor name and had it legally changed to “thefirst” in ’09.  Though she doesn’t aspire to be a FedEx currier, she does have high hopes of one day being the female Bob Dylan and the first caucasian, female rapper that isn’t trashy.  Sarah loves all means of food, guitarists that actually don’t suck, dressing in men’s clothing, and hearing about parties, but never going.  She hates bad posture, crickets, all forms of ignorance, and inappreciativeness of her wit.  Lone Oak’s varsity soccer team is graced with her presence and reminds her of how essential and imperative she is daily.  Though it does generate a laugh from most, being awkward is a pressing struggle that Sarah has to endure at all times.  Besides looking her worst in pictures, clinging to vases, and breathing exceptionally loud, she also writes articles for your school newspaper.  While it’s hard to believe such a phenomenon could go to a public school in the 270, try.  It’s just a blessing; be thankful.  Make sure to stay tuned to her monthly articles and watch out for the premier of her mixtape, “SHOCKER! I’m Awkward.”