Kendall Greene

Staff Writer

General “Mustache” Burnside sporting facial hair so legendary that a new term had to be coined...”sideburn”.

Photo courtesy warfarehistorian.blogspot.com

    Every November Lone Oak’s halls fill with full manly lumberjack beards and feminine spider armpits grown by hair growing experts. This is the month where the men are separated from the underclassmen. The month where brave students stand with Mr. Gill, beards shining through a sea of boring students.....

    The history of No-Shave November is fairly straightforward. The men with the beards get the best chicks. So in an attempt to prevent the women from getting too accustomed to the power of beards men decided to limit their powers to one month. And women are kept swooning to this day. Weary ladies, tired of swooning began to grow the dreaded arm bushes to keep the handsome men of November at bay.

    While the history may be logical the rules are a bit more involved. And remember: the first rule of no shave November is don’t talk about no shave November.