Austin Jones has been away for two months preparing for his next encounter with his arch-nemesis: Mrs. Carter. Luckily, he doesn't have to write articles this year, so he's free to do as he pleases until drafts start pouring into his dropbox. During his leisure time, he enjoys playing various instruments including the didjeridu, listening to alternative music, and watching movies directed by Woody Allen. Things he doesn't enjoy: Dane Cook's borrowed comedy, every generic rap song played at High School dances, and stereotypes based on hair color. Anything further is classified information.